Facing Your Fears
by Malley
Summary: Response to the ending of Red Herring, so there will be spoilers. Jane confronts Lisbon and she finally confides in him about her fears. Rated T for some language and for multiple references of alcohol/alcoholism. Fluff is at the end, I promise.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters. ** My birthday list is comprised of mostly Mentalist related things though :)

**A/N:** I was so happy that there was going to be a new episode during the week of my birthday, and then I saw the episode. Watching it once, I was a little disappointed at the ending. So, I wrote this (in about a half an hour) in response to this and to make myself feel better. The ending of the episode can be interpreted in different ways, but this is my version and I hope I'm right :)

Facing your Fears

Lisbon, after changing from her work attire, collapsed on her couch. Today's case had brought up some very unwanted and unpleasant memories and feelings. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Within a few moments of hitting the couch, Lisbon began to doze off, but her slumber was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

With a loud annoyed groan, Lisbon pushed herself off of the couch and went over to the front door.

"Who the hell is here this late at night?" she mumbled, very irritated.

Lisbon opened the door to see Patrick Jane standing on her porch.

"Jane, is there a reason you're at my house this late?" she asked.

"I know something's wrong Lisbon. Like I told you at the office, there's no point in denying it." Jane informed her. "May I come in?"

"Will saying no make you go away?"

"Uh…no."

Lisbon then reluctantly moved out of her doorway to allow Jane into the house. Jane headed over toward the couch Lisbon had been laying on and sat down. Lisbon took a seat on the armchair on the other side of the room.

"Jane, like I told you, I'm fine."

"Lisbon, you're a cop, so you're a terrible liar." Jane said, causing Lisbon to roll her eyes. "Plus, I saw you pull out your secret bottle of liquor from your desk drawer."

Lisbon looked down at the floor and let out a deep breath in response.

"Talk to me Lisbon."

Lisbon folded her arms across her chest.

"Why should I?"

"Because I know that despite your super tough independent exterior, you really wish you had someone to talk to in times like this. Plus, you know that talking to me is the only way you can get me to go away so you can return to wallowing in your sorrow."

_Damn him_. She thought. But he was right. The only way to make him stop pestering her was for her to talk to him, even though she did not want to. She learned how to take care of herself and her problems at an early age. She didn't need anyone then and she still doesn't need anyone now…right?

Jane then spoke, interrupting her thoughts.

"Lisbon, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want me to pry into your head, so let's spare both of us a world of pain, shall we? Just talk to me."

"I'm upset and I'm scared, okay?" Lisbon stated quietly.

"About what?"

"About me!" she said, now clearly frustrated. "This case brought up some very terrible things from my past, Jane. Things I don't like to remember. It also made me see some things about myself that I don't like."

Lisbon shook her head before continuing.

"Ever since Sam's death, I've been carrying on our tradition of taking a shot of liquor after every case we solve. Recently, I've realized that I've been looking forward to having that 'case closed drink' when we finish a case. I'm so afraid, Jane. I'm so afraid that I'm becoming like my father. I want to keep Sam's memory alive, but I'm turning into an alcoholic!"

Lisbon was now nearly in tears, so Jane got up from the couch and went over to her. He pulled her close to him and said:

"You're not an alcoholic, Lisbon. Don't ever think for a moment that you are like your father. You are a wonderful person, Lisbon, and you're very smart. I know that you would never become an alcoholic because you know what it will do to you and to others. Taking a drink to celebrate a closed case is a tradition, not a sickness. It's your own personal tribute to someone whom you deeply cared about and deeply cared about you as well. Believe me, if you were an alcoholic, I'd be the one to tell you straight out."

Through her tears, Lisbon gave Jane a weak smile. Jane brushed Lisbon's hair behind her ears and then placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You can let down your tough boss exterior every once in a while, you know. Even you need to be comforted by a friend. I want you to know that I'm always there for you Lisbon. No matter what. You know that, right?"

Lisbon nodded.

"And even though I'm a giant pain in your ass, I'll always be there for you. I'll always be there to tell you what you don't believe you are. I'll tell you how beautiful, smart, caring and wonderful you are, even if you don't believe me. I really care about you Lisbon."

"You know, I stopped caring about myself after my mother died. My main focus was to take care of my brothers. Hearing you be so persistent about how wonderful I am is an…interesting change of pace."

"It's true though."

"Thank you, Jane. I truly appreciate it. I'm just afraid I'm going to lose myself and become my father or lose Sam's memory. I don't know what to do. I have nightmares sometimes where I'm just like my father. I hurt the ones closest to me without realizing it. I'm so scared, Jane.

"Don't be. I've already told you you're nothing like him. You're not an alcoholic. No matter how many times you'll fight me on it, I won't let you succumb to what you think you'll be. I won't let that happen because you're too important to me." Jane took a deep breath. "I love you, Lisbon."

Lisbon stared at him for a minute. Then she slowly leaned forward and kissed him.

"I love you too Jane." Lisbon replied after she pulled away. "And thank you. Thank you for sticking by me and showing me the truth; that I'm not an alcoholic like my father."

"I love you so much Lisbon, and I hate to see you so down on yourself. Promise me that you'll try not to be so harsh on yourself."

With a slight smile, Lisbon said:

"That's like expecting you to follow the rules. It's just not going to happen."

"Ah, humor."

"I thought it was funny."

"Seriously, promise me?"

"I promise."

Taking Lisbon's hand, Jane guided her over to the couch. They sat down, curled up next to each other and both immediately fell asleep when Jane put the television on.

No nightmares for either tonight. Two broken hearts finally finding their missing halves.  
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Very pleased with the story's ending, if I do say so myself. Final chapter of Surprise Party (my usual fluffy stuff) will be posted tomorrow, on my birthday. Thanks for reading!


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